


In art and life

by NatalieC



Category: Lost in Space (TV 2018)
Genre: Art, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Finally, Headcanon, Married Couple, Married Sex, Talk it out, Talking, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-06-16 19:05:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15443784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieC/pseuds/NatalieC
Summary: John and Maureen can draw. Yep. We're gonna get Titanic...“No its ok. I uh… I want to show you. I do. It’s just that uh… well it’s… you know.” She takes his hand and squeezes in understanding. She does know. Showing someone your art is like showing someone your soul. He stands and holds out his hand. She looks at him questioningly but takes his hand anyway. “Come on, before I lose my nerve.” He says and she grins widely.xxxx“So, did you think we might work things out?" he asks feeling a real mix of hope, guilt and affection as well as being pretty damn turned on.“Honestly, I don’t know.” She sighs. “I was so angry. I just… I didn’t know how I’d move past it. How we’d ever find a way to talk. I thought we were done. I thought we were so far gone for any form of resolution.” She shakes her head at the memories and all the feelings coming with them. “I brought it because I didn’t want to throw it away when I cleared out the house. Maybe I thought I’d use it alone at some point – you know, for old times’ sake.” she smiles.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is a WIP but i do have a couple of chapters drafted so I will update regularly. Takes place while they are drifting through space. Maybe they're back on the resolute or maybe they are drifting back towards Alpha Centauri having found a way to reset their course. I dont know. I haven't really decided. Either way, they are out of imminent danger and have space for a little down time! 
> 
> I've had this head cannon for ages and finally got round to writing it. I've wanted them to talk it out for ages, but every time I write them they just end up banging. Oh, dont worry, that will happen in this one too but before all that, some actual words! Will be M in later chapters. They are going to play a question game soon too - so if you've got anything you think they might want to ask each other please let me know and i'll work it in. :)

**2045**

_John, dressed in his uniform, places his bag on the bed and takes a long glance around before sitting down heavily. Maureen closes the door gently behind her “all set?” she asks gently._

_“Yeah. I’m… I was going to say I’m ready.” he sighs “but I’m not ready to leave you and I don’t think I ever will be.”_

_She sits next to him and pulls him into a tight hug. She’s staying strong for him now but she knows she’ll cry here later. She pulls back from their embrace “got you something” she grins moving over to the wardrobe._

_“Oh yeah? Not more socks is it?” he chuckles as he tries to peer into the wardrobe to see what she’s retrieving._

_Sauntering back with a medium sized package wrapped in brown paper, she places it gently into his hands before sitting next to him. He raises an eyebrow. “Interesting” he says running his fingers over the wrapping trying to figure out what it is. She bumps his shoulder lightly to chivvy him along knowing they need to leave soon._

_Gently, he peels back the paper to reveal a beautiful leather-bound sketch book and a new packet of pencils. “Wow... It’s beautiful. Thank you.” he says feeling a little overwhelmed._

_“I don’t know if you’re going to have much time or space for drawing. But I just thought… it might be nice to have something to do just for you.” She looks down shyly at the book in his hands._

_“I love it.” He says cupping her cheek and kissing her softly._

_“_ _Mmmmmoooooooom Judy’s got my shoes” comes from somewhere in the house._ _They break apart smiling. “We better get going.” She says standing up._

**2048**

It’s late afternoon on the resolute but time has a slightly different meaning when you’re drifting through space unguided by movement around a sun. John walks into the kitchen space finding Maureen alone hunched over something at the table. “Want something to drink?” he asks opening the fridge.

“Yes please” she replies looking around at him and smiling. She still can’t believe they made it back to each other. Bringing two cups of tea over to the table, he takes a seat next to her.

“What you working on there?” he asks glancing at the papers in front of her. She has pages scattered across the table and he reaches for one. It’s a technical drawing of the robot with a close up of the arm and how it moves. The detail is incredible as is her line work. “This is excellent” he says and she looks up and smiles.

Reaching for his tea he takes a sip while placing the paper down. “Been working on anything else recently?” he asks.

“No. I haven’t drawn for pleasure alone in… years. How about you?” 

“Yes actually” he says, “though not since we left earth. But it hasn’t been that long for me.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Well, the last time was probably uh. It was...ummmm” He drifts off.

She places a hand on his arm gently running her fingers along his skin reminding him that she’s here but not pushing.

“I’ve got them all here with me.” he says finally.

She’s completely surprised but tries not to show it. “Wow. I’d love to see sometime. If you want to of course. I mean… I know its personal but…” she’s babbling now. Why is this _still_ so hard sometimes? she thinks. They're both terrified of putting a foot wrong but desperately wanting to get to a solid place in their relationship. 

“No its ok. I uh… I want to show you. I do. It’s just that uh… well it’s… you know.” She takes his hand and squeezes in understanding. She does know. Showing someone your art is like showing someone your soul. He reaches for his cup again and takes a long drink. She does the same and they sit in comfortable silence for a moment just enjoying being with each other. Then he stands and holds out his hand. She looks at him questioningly but takes his hand anyway. “Come on, before I lose my nerve.” He says and she grins widely.

They enter the master bedroom and he goes straight to one of his recently acquired draws and rummages around. She’s sitting on the bed watching him intently but trying to appear a little nonchalant. This is a really big deal for them and their relationship and she really doesn’t want to fuck it up. He comes over to sit next to her and places a worn leather-bound sketch book into her hands. She’s completely blown away. He’s not only kept her gift, he’s used it. Loved it. Taken it round the world with him and then to space.

Every ounce counts when deciding what you’re taking and she knows he’s sacrificed quite a few things to bring this with him. She was not expecting this at all. But she should have expected it she admonishes herself. There she goes underestimating him yet again. Running her fingers over the soft leather gently her eyes fill with tears. She looks up at him and smiles “I uh… I don’t know what to say”.

“Well” he begins “ If you don’t like what’s in there. Just stick keep it that way and we’ll be fine.” He starts chuckling softly. He’s nervous. The air is thick with tension and want. She desperately wants to see what inside this book and he wants to show it to her. Wants to show that she was on his mind the whole time he was away. Even when they were hardly talking. Even after years apart. They share another smile and she leans in and kisses him softly. They part and look downwards as she gently opens the book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also - have I got the timeline right? I couldnt be bothered to rewatch to check. I also need to know roughly when M/J will have met, I know we dont know for sure but im imagining when Judy was around 6-8 months or something. So that year will depend on if I got this one right! Let me know if you know or think differently to what I've suggested :)


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She pauses in the corridor on the way to their room. She’s nervous. She knows they need to talk – there’s still so much they need to sort out. But tonight… She’s going to lay herself completely bare for him. Physically and emotionally. In the shower earlier she made a promise to herself. He did it for her when he shared his sketch book, when he started the conversation in the chariot, when he tried to talk to her under the satellite… It’s time for her to give him something back.

The first image is view from a window, probably in the barracks she guesses. The next few are landscapes – possibly drawn at an outpost. They depict a barren world but there’s hope. There’s a tree that seems to feature in a lot of the scenes and while it doesn’t change, the world around it does. There are a lot of her. Some portraits and some studies of her hands, legs, back. It’s so intimate looking at the way he sees her – it’s been years since she’s had the chance and she’s completely forgotten how it feels.

She pauses on a detailed sketch of her feet digging into the sand. It’s drawn from a photo from a beach trip she remembers taking when the kids were smaller. She’d laughed as John snuck up behind her as she was taking the photo, sweeping her off her feet and depositing her in the hole he and the kids had just dug. She sits a little straighter and looks at him “I love how you’ve captured the texture of the sand here and… there’s some movement too isn’t there?”.

“Yeah I guess there is. I must have been thinking about the entire moment when the picture was taken and that came through as I worked on it.” He shifts behind her slightly snaking an arm round her waist and bringing his head to rest gently on her shoulder.

They both look back down to the book and she continues flicking through the pages carefully, coming to another series of portraits. There’s Penny, Judy, Will – some she recognises from the pictures they’ve been drawn from, but some must be from memory. They’re incredible.

“John these are… wow… they're beautiful. You’re incredible.”

He nuzzles her neck shyly. She pulls back and looks at him properly.

“I mean it.” She says. She keeps moving through the pages. There scenes start to change and become much darker. It’s a clear timeline of their relationship and how it began to unravel while he was away. She inhales and proceeds gently turning each page with care. The tree from before becomes prominent in all sketches until that’s all he draws. It becomes twisted and bare, leaves scattered all over the floor. Until its broken. Felled or destroyed by some other unknown force. It’s a deeply affecting image. She wonders if she’d react as strongly to the picture if she didn’t know its exact meaning. Probably. He’s very good. Then there’s nothing after this. The remaining pages empty. She flicks back to look at it again.

“Was this… Was this after I called you about signing that paperwork?”.

“Yeah.” He says running his hand over the back of his neck. “I’m sorry I hung up on you back then. I just uh… Well, you took me by surprise. I honestly didn’t know what to say. What to think. How to feel. God…. I was so mad at you. At myself. I… I just stormed out of the base and walked. I had no idea where I was going and then I ended up at that tree. It’s near a checkpoint I worked regularly. And I… cried. Stayed there for a long time. Then I got up. Walked back to base and drew that.” She takes his hand in hers and they watch their fingers brushing gently. “The next morning, I looked at it. I really looked at it – what it was. What I was. And that’s when I decided to fight for you. For our family. I made some calls and booked myself in to join the next available test.” He squeezes her hand and lets go to turn the page.

They look at the empty space there. “I’d like to draw you for real again sometime.” He says looking up at her.

She smiles soft and slow “just like old times”.

“Yeah. Got any better at keeping still?” he asks.

“You tell me… so…. tonight?”

“Tonight.” He agrees and leans in to kiss her to seal the deal.

She stands to leave but pauses with her hand on the door. She turns back to him “thank you for sharing this with me.” She says softly.

He smiles. She returns it then turns to leave. They’re going to be ok he thinks.

**2032**

_“Hey” John says sliding in to the seat next to the pretty brunette he noticed for the first time last week. “You new here?”_

_“_ _Yeah. Well not new to the area. But new to this class.” She pauses a moment to take out her pencils. “Have you been coming here long?” she asks._

_“For a couple of months now. I uh…. I have a job which is kind of demanding and I just wanted to do something for me. Something where I need to slow down and really look at things. You know?”._

_“Yeah I can understand that.”_

_“What made you decide to take a life drawing class?”_

_“Well…” she starts “I draw all the time for work but it’s nothing like this. It’s technical stuff. And I wanted to do something just for me too. I want to try something different, and maybe slow down and look at things a little differently too.” she smiles._

_It’s been years since he was even remotely interested in anyone. But there’s something about this woman. Something about the easy way she falls into conversation but the nervous way she brushes her hair behind her ears. She’s smart. He can tell that much but the rest seems quite enigmatic. He wants to know her. After class as they pack away he plucks up his courage._

_“It was nice to meet you. I’m John by the way”._

_“Maureen” she smiles._

_Here goes he thinks. “Hey um… I never do this. honestly. But uh… would you like to get a coffee?”._

_S_ _he looks surprised, but recovers quickly. “Oh um… I can’t tonight. I have to get back for my babysitter. But next week, after class I could. I just need to tell her in advance that I’ll be back later. That is… if you still want to?”._

_“Yeah I still want to” he smiles._

 

**2046**

She pauses in the corridor on the way to their room. She’s nervous. She knows they need to talk – there’s still so much they need to sort out. But tonight… She’s going to lay herself completely bare for him. Physically and emotionally. In the shower earlier she made a promise to herself. He did it for her when he shared his sketch book, when he started the conversation in the chariot, when he tried to talk to her under the satellite… It’s time for her to give him something back.

She takes a deep breath and pushes forward. He looks up when she enters their room. He’s made a makeshift seat on one side of the room from storage crates and covered the bed with pillows and soft blankets. The lights are dim, but bright enough to see and he’s placed two battery lights near the bed foot of the bed, casting a soft shadow. He’s thought of everything.

“Hey” she says smiling tightly before turning to close the door.

In three steps he’s over to her side of the room snaking his hands round her waist and pulling her to him. “Still wanna do this?” he asks. Her heart melts for him. He’s standing there so hopeful. So beautiful and talented and powerful and gentle and hers. How did she get so lucky?

“Yes” she whispers as she wraps her arms round his shoulders. “I won’t say I'm not a little nervous.” She smiles as she rolls her eyes in that adorable way, moving to sit down on the bed to remove her boots. “But I want this with you. I want you to see me.” Scars and all she thinks as she stands to place her shoes and socks out the way then her hands come to her belt as she looks up to meet his gaze.

“I'm nervous too.” he says “It’s been over five years since I last drew you in the flesh. But I never stopped seeing you. It’s always been you Maureen.”

“I love you.” She whispers pulling him in to another quick hug before rocking back on her heels “Ok let’s do this.” she smiles as she undoes her belt buckle slowly and pulls down her pants and underwear in one go. Her hands go to the bottom of her t-shirt and she pulls that off in one quick motion too. She’s not wearing a bra and he watches her bare breasts move as she reaches to unclasp her hair tie. As she runs her fingers through her hair to loosen it she asks him where he wants her.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, did you think we might work things out?" he asks feeling a real mix of hope, guilt and affection as well as being pretty damn turned on.“Honestly, I don’t know.” She sighs. “I was so angry. I just… I didn’t know how I’d move past it. How we’d ever find a way to talk. I thought we were done. I thought we were so far gone for any form of resolution.” She shakes her head at the memories and all the feelings coming with them. “I brought it because I didn’t want to throw it away when I cleared out the house. Maybe I thought I’d use it alone at some point – you know, for old times’ sake.” she smiles.

“Um uhhhh just make yourself comfortable on the bed.” He manages to spit out. They hadn’t discussed if she was going to pose nude for him though it _was_ usually what they did before... _Many_ years ago. He moves over to his seat across the room and tries to find a comfortable position. He’s already half hard.

His gaze is hot and heavy as he watches her arrange herself on the bed. When she’s comfortable she looks over letting him know she’s ready with a soft smile. He picks up his pad and gets to work quickly.  He’s planned on doing a couple of quick simple sketches tonight. Partly as he’s a bit rusty and partly because he’s hoping they’ll talk. He doesn’t want any constraints or too much distraction.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice your sketch book when we moved your stuff in here” she says.

“Yeah I know. I wasn’t exactly hiding it from you. But I guess I wasn’t openly displaying it ether.” He replies.

A short silence follows and then she sighs. “There’s still so much I don’t know about you John. From the past few years I mean... God, we wasted so much time”.

“I know. I feel the same.” His eyes flick back and forth from her to the book while his hand moves furiously across the paper. “We have so much to talk about. To figure out. But… well, we’ve barely had 5 minutes alone together since we crashed.” He says softly.

“Right.” she agrees “But I want to start. Slowly. How about we play a little game?”.

He looks up and smiles. He knows how hard this is for her. Being vulnerable has always been tough. But she’s here and she’s really trying and he’d do just about anything for her. “I'm listening” he smiles.

“Ok so uh… we take turns asking questions. It can be anything at all – heavy stuff, fun stuff whatever. The only rules are total honesty and the person asking can’t interrupt the person answering. Ok?”. “

Ok, I'm in. So… do you want to start?” he asks.

“Great.” she smiles. Her brief pause as she thinks up her question gives him a moment to really look at her eyes and try and capture some of the detail there. His intense gaze isn’t helping her think. She has a million questions she wants to ask but it’s probably a good idea to warm up a little bit with something simple. “Ok… What do you miss most from earth?” she asks.

He nods slowly. “Good one” he says taking some time to think it over. It’s quiet apart from the sound of his pencil scratching across the paper as he tries to capture her face. “You know that coffee shop on the corner? I miss going there with you or with the kids. I miss the smell, the sounds, the people. I miss having time to sit and just be.” She gives him a small smile to let him know she’s listening but remains quiet until she’s sure he’s finished. He reaches over for something then begins sharpening his pencil. “But you know, that’s about it. I wasn’t happy on earth – not for the last few years anyway. And now I’m here with all of you… I mean, I know it’s not perfect and it’s not like we’re out of danger, but I’m happier than I’ve been in years. If I could just be sure you and the kids are safe, I wouldn’t choose to go back. Not for a second.” He exhales and nods.

“Me neither”. She whispers.

He blows on the paper to remove any loose bits of lead before flipping the page over. “Ok. So I was just warming up with this one. Are you comfortable or do you want to move around a little?" he asks.  

“I’m good actually.” She replies. Though she does wriggle around a little bit just because she can.

“Ok then. My turn” he grins. “You ready for this?”.

 “I was born ready, John Robinson”. She smiles. She’s missed this playful banter with him so much.

 “Ok lady, we’ll see” he smiles as he begins tracing her outline, eyes darting up to her and back down to his pad again. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you brought with you on this journey?” he asks.

“You mean aside from the space I wasted on Oreos?” she laughs.

“Yeah, those were for the kids. I’m asking about you specifically”.

She looks up as her mind runs through her packing inventory. “Well… it depends on who’s looking at my stuff.” She replies cryptically. He raises an eyebrow and smirks but continues working his pencil across the page.

“Ok… so there’s one thing that I wouldn’t be embarrassed if you found, but anyone else? I’d be mortified. And then there’s something that I wouldn’t really care if someone found, but if you did… I guess I’d be embarrassed.”

He’s waiting patiently for her to continue bringing his thumb to smudge the shadowing he’s putting along her side. Out the corner of his eye he can see her biting her lip. 

“Arghhh” she groans. “Ok so the two things? The purple dildo and hair dye.”

He’s not sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t this. His eyebrows raise high. “Am I allowed to ask follow up questions?”.

“Of course.”

He’s knows where he wants to go first with this conversation but he decides to go easy on her. “Ok first, why would you be embarrassed if I found your hair dye?”.

 “It just feels so superficial. We’re starting life on another planet. I’ll be responsible for engineering all sorts of things including our exploration programme.  And I’ve brought hair dye because I’m worried about my grey hairs showing? I guess I want you to think that I don’t care how I look or about what you think when you look at me. And that was particularly true before we got back together. But... I do care. What you think matters to me.” She looks him right in the eye when he glances up next and he holds her stare.

“Well first of all” he smiles as he looks back down to continue sketching the detail of her shoulders “You’re beautiful with or without grey hair. I couldn’t care less. And second, caring about how you look doesn’t make you any less smart. Or any less brilliant.” She smiles at this.

“Thank you.” She exhales blowing the air out through slightly pursed lips. “So… bet you’re wondering what made me bring our purple friend”.

“Obviously! I have many questions on this new piece of information.” He smiles.

“Well, I know we could make pretty much anything with the 3D printer but it wouldn’t be the same. I guess… I had a certain affection for ours. Lots of good memories.”

“Yeah” he agrees. “But you chose to bring it when we were… _separated_.” his tone rises on the word as he tries it out. They haven’t really defined their time apart. There’s still so much they need to work through and even the simple start to this game has revealed deeper, unexpected things. “So, did you think we might work things out?" he asks feeling a real mix of hope, guilt and affection as well as being pretty damn turned on.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” She sighs. “I was so angry. I just… I didn’t know how I’d move past it. How we’d ever find a way to talk. I thought we were done. I thought we were so far gone for any form of resolution.” She shakes her head at the memories and all the feelings coming with them. “I brought it because I didn’t want to throw it away when I cleared out the house. Maybe I thought I’d use it alone at some point – you know, for old times’ sake.” she smiles.

“Did you bring the harness?” he asks trying to appear nonchalant as he focuses on his sketch.

“I brought everything.” She smiles seductively.

He raises one eyebrow as he smiles. She’s totally surprised him in the best possible way. “My perfect woman. Prepared for every eventuality as always.” They share a tender smile before he looks back down to continue his work.

“Ok. My turn… did you bring your wedding ring?” She asks him.

“Yes.”

She nods in response signalling she’s done.

“Did you?” he asks.

“Yes” she smiles. “Mad as I was, I couldn’t leave it behind.”

 “Not that we can put them on until we land somewhere permanent. Hopefully Alpha Centauri. Hey ummmmm, I was thinking…” He drifts off as he plucks up the courage to ask. “When we finally get there and things are settled. Would you want to renew our vows?”

She inhales through her nose, he’s surprised her again. She’s been on an emotional roller coaster since they crashed and she knew that talking through everything was going to be tough…but this?  He’s such a romantic. He can bring her to joy and despair in a matter of minutes. She decides to try and go with it. It’s definitely something she wants but not something she’d considered.   “I’d love that.” She smiles. “Nothing fancy, just something small and simple.”

“Yeah.” He agrees. “I probably would have asked you in a better way at some point if this conversation hadn’t come up. I’ve thought about it before. After we… after the tar pit.  I want to make some new promises to you.” 

She smiles softly. “I want that too. But…” she hesitates.

He waits for her to continue but she doesn’t. She appears totally lost in thought. He gives her a moment as he begins detailing her breasts with more shadow and lines. After a long while, he decides to reignite their conversation that was flowing so beautifully before. They were really getting somewhere and he hopes he hasn’t ruined it.  “Listen, I'm sorry if that was a bit much too soon.” he says.

She looks over at him shaking her head. “No. It was lovely. _I’m_ sorry.” She sits up, forgetting she’s meant to be still or that she’s totally naked. “Of course, I want to make promises to you too. I just… I guess I’m finding it a bit weird to talk about that when we still haven’t unpacked everything that went wrong. All the hurt we caused each other. The things we said… or _didn’t_ say.  And I know you’re probably thinking its weird that _I'm_ the one pushing for a deep discussion. But I’m done making the same mistakes over and over again. I’m done shutting you out. I want you John. Forever. And I think we’ve both got things we need to say in order to move forward. Really move forward.” She looks down. “I can’t lose you again.” She whispers.


	4. Chapter 4

Standing quickly, he moves to crouch in front of her taking her hands in his. “You won’t.” he whispers. “You’re absolutely right. We do need to talk. And I want to Maureen. I am so ready. But... Let’s not put too much pressure on ourselves ok? Your question game seemed to be working pretty well before. Let’s keep doing that. Maybe we can do a couple of questions each whenever we can find a moment. Or, I mean, we'll make those moments. We'll make time for it”.

“You mean like a regular thing?” she asks

“Yeah, just think of it as the most cathartic date night you’ve ever been on.” He smiles.

“Ok.” She laughs and leans forward to hug him. She shivers slightly as his hands slide across her bare back reminding her she's naked. “Hey, I just realised I moved. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This is so much more important.” He says into her neck.

“How’s it going anyway?” she asks gesturing to the sketch pad he’s left on the chair across the room. She's tempted to pick her t-shirt up from the floor and slip it on, but resists. It feels good to be open with him. In every possible way, though it's starting to get a little chilly!  She's also starting to wish he was a little less dressed too. Her senses are heightened from her nakedness and the way he's been looking at her all evening has filled her with a kind of desire she hasn't felt for years. 

“Ok I think” he says standing up. “Want to see?” he asks as he moves over to pick up the pad, knowing that she does. He loves how comfortable she seems with him. He caught her glance to locate her clothes when she remembered she wasn't wearing them and he loves how she kept them off. They've come so far in just a few short hours tonight. 

“Yeah I want to see”

He brings his book over and places it in her hands gently. She can see he hasn’t finished it, but it’s a beautiful start. The light and shading is skilled and he’s captured her hair wonderfully with a series of irregular lines. “Wow. I wish I had your talent when it comes to life drawing. It’s excellent” she smiles looking up at him.

“Well, if you want to get back in to it, I could sit for you next time.” He offers.

“Seriously?”

 “Yeah of course. Seems only fair.” He smirks.

 “Alright. You’re on.” She smiles. “So… uh... do you want to finish?”

He smirks at the possible double meaning of her statement and she raises an eyebrow. They're on exactly the same page. The sexual tension has been rising since he hugged her a moment ago. He looks at his watch briefly “Yeah, I mean it’s still early. I’d like to spend a bit more time on it. if you can wait, that is.”

She smirks back. Of course she can wait. She's been waiting for years. “Yeah of course. Ok, so you’re going to need to help me out here” she says scooting back on the bed and lying back trying to find the same position as before. “Was it like this?” she asks moving around a little trying to get comfortable.

 “Ummmmm” he’s become transfixed by the movement of her breasts as she bounces around on the bed. Glancing up he catches her smirking. She knows exactly what she's doing to him. “Uhhh yeah. I think you’re good. Maybe move your right arm up a little. Yeah like that.” He takes a few steps back to his chair to get a better look from a distance. “Yep, you’re perfect.” He smiles.

He picks up his pad and pencil and takes a long look at her while she settles back into the comfort of the pillow behind her. She came here tonight to give him everything. To show him all her scars and to hear about his. Old scars are easier to talk about, than they are to show but rarely do we see wounds that are still in the process of healing. And that’s what they’re doing here tonight. With each question, they’re putting another layer of skin back on their relationship.

“So. Do you wanna keep playing?” he asks breaking the silence again.

“Yes. You?”

“Yes. Go right ahead. I think it was your turn” he says as he looks down and continues sketching.

She takes a deep breath. The playful mood is going to be broken but she needs to ask this. “Was there ever anyone else?” she says before quickly glancing down.  She doesn’t quite wince, but he can see she’s bracing herself for his answer.

“Maureen no. Never.”

She exhales the breath she’d been holding. “I'm sorry… It’s just that I.. well, when I found that letter and I knew you’d made a choice to go back… I couldn’t help but think about all the things that made you choose to go. I mean… deep down I think I know that you never would… but… time is a powerful thing. And we were apart so long. I guess I made myself a bit crazy wondering if you left because of someone else out there. I had to ask. I hope that’s ok”.

“Of course it is. That’s the whole point. I don’t want you to hold anything back from me. Not anymore ok?”.

“Ok” she smiles.

He puts his pencil down for a moment and gently smudges to create some depth to his lines. “When you found that letter…” he begins keeping his eyes focused on the page. “Did you _want_ to talk about it?”

“Of course, I wanted to.” She says quickly. Then she sighs and shakes her head. “Sorry. That was defensive.”

He looks up over his sketching and smiles. He knows she’s trying. They both are.

“I was so hurt. I guess you already know that. I… I wanted to scream at you mostly. But then… you were gone. I didn’t have to see you, so I didn’t have to talk to you. I was too angry and hurt to bring it up whenever you called. Too proud I guess. Then we just…drifted. So yeah… I did want to talk to you. I just didn’t know how or where to begin. I took the easy way out I guess. Complete avoidance.  Though it wasn’t the easy way was it?”

He shakes his head agreeing and in understanding, but he can see she’s not finished.

“You know, when I called you about leaving I’d planned on telling you about the spot available to come with us if you passed the tests. But I… well the conversation didn’t exactly go as planned.” She says closing her eyes in thought.

He puts down his  sketch and walks over to the bed. She looks a little surprised at another interruption from his drawing but shifts over to make room as he lays down next to her.

“I didn’t exactly help that conversation did I though? Not my smartest moment.” He says as he wraps his arms round her and she moves to rest her head on his chest.

“Yeah well… neither of us have been particularly smart, have we? I can’t stop thinking that if we’d both just _talked_ to each other then we could have avoided so much heartache.”

“I know. I’ll have to live with that regret for the rest of my life. All that time I missed with the kids. With you. Everything.” His eyes are filling up. He doesn’t cry much, but when he does, it’s usually when he thinks about his kids, or his love for her.

“But we’re here now.”   she whispers leaning up on her elbow to look at him.

“Yeah we are” he smiles leaning forward to kiss her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised some mature content, and I promise I will provide it. Next time......


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want me to find the purple toy?” she asks. “I know it’s in here somewhere”.
> 
> His grin is wide, but he shakes his head. “Tonight, I just want you.” He says pulling her closer, so he can bring his nose to the warm skin of her neck as he starts kissing her there softly.

His hands come up framing her face as their kiss intensifies. He pulls her over so that she’s half on top of him as his tongue snakes out to dance with hers. She moans softly and slips her hands under his T-shirt to feel the broad expanse of his chest. They kiss for a short while before she pulls back to help him remove his top. After he sits up and pulls it off, she straddles his lap and reaching for the top of his pants, looks at him with mischievous wonder.

“Do you want me to find the purple toy?” she asks. “I know it’s in here somewhere”.

His grin is wide, but he shakes his head. “Tonight, I just want you.” He says pulling her closer, so he can bring his nose to the warm skin of her neck as he starts kissing her there softly.

“Mmmmm yes” she whispers.

He’s not sure if it’s in response to his comment or to what he’s doing to her, but either way, she seems good with the plan. He brings his hands to her hips then flips them over so she’s underneath him. The look in his eyes is voracious as he crawls backwards down her body and settles between her thighs.

She maintains eye contact as he brings his mouth to kiss her mound softly before moving to trace her lower lips with his tongue. He starts with a series of soft swipes to the area around her clit but not touching it directly. He knows how to get her worked up. How to keep her on the edge.

Since they got back together after the tar pit, he hasn’t had chance to taste her. The first time together had been frantic and desperate, tearing at each other’s clothes in a rush to reconnect. They’d both come hard and fast. And the other time had also been rushed as they’d taken advantage of a moment alone while moving his stuff out of his old room and into the master bedroom. He’d made her come with his fingers slipped inside her pants while they were fully clothed and pressed up against the door.

He’s the first to break the tender staring contest they somehow ended up in. Closing his eyes, he focuses everything on her. She smells and tastes like home. Bringing both hands to her thighs he spreads them wider, holding her steady as he moves his mouth to where she wants it most; kissing, sucking and tracing patterns directly on her clit with his tongue. All the things he knows will drive her crazy.

She brings her hand to the back of his head running through his hair gently but also signalling that she wants him to stay exactly where he is.  He wants to make her scream. He works his tongue harder. Faster.

Her breath is coming in short gasps now. Her entire body is taught as she races towards release. He brings his index to her dripping pussy coating it in her juices without stilling his mouth for a second. If she was capable of conscious thought, she’d applaud his skill.

He pulls out gently and she groans at the loss. He quickly appeases her by covering her clit as he sucks hard while bringing his slick finger to her ass. He slides in and she moans in appreciation.

“oh. OH. Yeah” she cries as she arches up, her entire body awash with sensation. He releases his grip on her legs so her hips can move as much as they need to. She grinds against his face as the waves of pleasure continue. Her hand at the back of his head moves to squeeze his shoulder as she slows down.

He slips his finger out, wiping it on his discarded t-shirt and places a series of tender kisses around her inner thighs and stomach before moving up to lie back next to her. He looks over and she takes his breath away all over again.  Her chest is flushed pink, rising and falling quickly as she regains some composure. She shuts her eyes and lets out a long exhale. She looks totally at peace. it’s rare he gets to see her like this and he is thankful he’s the only one she lets in.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since you took off your top earlier” he smiles.

“Oh really?” she chuckles breathlessly as she runs a hand through her hair.

“Well, maybe that’s not entirely true.”

She turns to look at him and raises an eyebrow inviting him to continue.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since forever. But more recently, and more specifically, after you told Dhar where to stick it – man I wanted to throw you down on the grass there and then and eat you.” He pauses. “If things were different between us then, maybe we would have found some way…” he sighs.

The mood could take a turn here, but she decides not to let it. Keeping things playful and light she smiles as she turns on her side and starts running her finger across his chest tracing imaginary patterns.  “Mmmmm when else?”

“Huh?” he asks, confused.

“When else did you have to restrain yourself?” she smiles as she brushes her finger along his nose playfully.

He chuckles playing along. “Ok ummmm. When you grabbed that knife to slice the eel. That was so fucking hot. I love it when you take charge. I could have taken you there and then too if we weren’t in mortal danger!”.

“I would have loved that. If the kids weren’t there. And if we weren’t so close to being stuck inside that glacier!” she smiles. “You looked so sexy all flushed and fresh from battle. With an alien!” She laughs. “Remember when you used to train at that boxing place?” she asks as she begins easing his pants off his legs running her fingers along the inches of skin she uncovers along his thighs and calves.

“Mmm, I remember”. He says a little breathlessly. Somehow, she’s turned the tables without him noticing until now and she’s slowly torturing him.

“You’d come back flushed and freshly showered, hormones raging from a fight and desperate to fuck”. She looks him square in the eye as she finishes the sentence. “I never told you this, but Tuesday nights were the highlight of my week”.

“Mine too. Those were some good times.” he smiles.

She feels his stomach muscles quivering with tension as she runs her fingers lightly up and down his happy trail.

“Yeah they were. I mean, it’s always good when it’s with you.” She pauses a moment to watch him bask in her praise before continuing “but those time were…some of my favourites.”

“Well, maybe I should start a new fitness regime.” He smirks.

“Mmmm maybe.” She says slipping her hands into the waistband of his boxers. “Or maybe we can find some exercises to do together.” She says as he lifts his hips to help her pull them off.

“Now that, I can get in to.” He smiles

She gets up on her knees, smiling softly at him before swinging a leg across his body to straddle him once more. She leans down to kiss him thoroughly while bringing her hands to grasp both of his, easing them up over his head and pinning them down. His hips buck up in to hers in encouragement. He’s getting more desperate. She knows he’s been ready for this since they began this whole evening. So has she.

She slithers down as she kisses a path down his body, letting go of his hands to stroke his cock instead. She gives him a few gentle tugs before leaning over to swipe her tongue across the spongy head. His hips rise up and he moans in pleasure, so she quickly does it again, and again before taking him in to her mouth fully. She swirls her tongue around his tip on each upward motion while shifting slightly so that she can ride his leg at the same pace as her mouth on him.

He tenses his leg to give her a bit more friction and she groans onto him, the vibrations bringing him a step closer. “Maureen.” He says. She sucks harder in reply. “AAAAHhhhhh Maureen” he tries again.

Not sure if he’s just moaning her name or he wants her attention, she slides up to his tip slowly and looks at him, without taking his cock from her mouth.

“Come up here” he gestures.

She kisses his hip gently then climbs atop him again like before. “No” he says making a turning gesture with his fingers “Other way” and he places his hands on her hips as she rises to her knees and turns around. He pulls her backwards gently until she’s on all fours positioned over his face, exactly where he wants her.

She’s leans forward to lick his him from base to tip but from upside down this time. Once she’s got her position over him sorted and her mouth comfortably situated on his cock, she lowers her pussy to his face. He moans hungrily and starts gently kissing her open mouthed and sloppy. It feels amazing.

They move together for a while before it becomes too much for John. “Maureen, baby…” he pants. “I’m so close. Please….”

Please what? She wants to tease, but she takes pity on him. He’s been so good to her this evening, he deserves an easy ride tonight.  Bringing her mouth away from his throbbing cock, she moves off him but remains on all fours. Tossing her hair over her shoulder she looks back at him. He’s still lying flat on the bed, stroking his cock slowly. He smiles when he meets her gaze. “God, you’ll be the death of me woman!”

“I certainly hope not.” She replies smirking. “You said you wanted only me earlier.  Well here I am baby.” She says wiggling her hips and butt at him gently, “take me!”

He’s up and behind her in a flash. His thighs brush the back of hers as he lines himself up to enter her slowly. She moans at the first contact and he slides all the way in gently. He leans forward covering her back with his body and kisses the back of her neck as his hips pull back in a gentle, experimental first thrust.

“John” she whispers.

He kisses her neck, lips close to her ear “Ok?” he asks.

“God, yes” she replies rocking back into him. She wants him everywhere. Her whole body is alive with sensation. She loves letting him take the lead in bed like this. She loves it equally when she takes charge. But tonight, she wants to be fucked. She wants to feel it for days afterwards.

He places a soft kiss to her shoulder, then takes hold of her hips and starts to move in a stronger rhythm. “ahh” she gasps at the slight change of angle and pace. Keeping one hand on her hips, John lets the other smooth across her back, before sliding underneath her to grasp her breast in a firm grip. His thumb brushes her nipple gently, but she wants more.

“You feel amazing” she whispers breathlessly over her shoulder.

“So do you” he says as he tries to kiss her, but she hasn’t turned her head enough and he meets her cheek instead. She laughs a little. As much as she can anyway while his hips are keeping a relentless pace pounding in to her.

Pulling back a little he smiles too. “I love you” he says little earnestly.

“and I love you” she says bringing her opposite hand to cradle his cheek and guide him to her lips.

They kiss and fuck as graciously as anyone can in that position. Which is not very but neither of them care in the slightest.

Maureen slips her hand down to touch her clit and her fingers brush his balls on each inward thrust. She starts to rub harder, but it isn’t enough. She wants everything. “John… ahhh… please” she starts.

“mmm yeah. You feel so good. God, I missed this. I missed you” he babbles.

“Touch me” she cries and his hand comes to cover hers at her centre. She shakes her head “not there” she sighs. He hasn’t stopped his pace for a second. She loves his stamina. He’s in brilliant shape. He brings his slick fingers to her ass and brushes her hole gently. “mmmm yeah” she sighs.

He smiles and feels awash with love for her all over again. He loves how she’s let him set the pace for tonight. She’s been open and vulnerable with him in every way.

He pushes his finger all the way in and eases it back in time with his thrusting and he can tell it’s good as her thighs quiver and she falters for a second before regaining her balance. It won’t be long now for either of them.

He leans forward to cover her back with his chest again bringing one arm next to hers to brace himself. His hips are pumping at a punishing pace now, his finger pressing into her ass with each stroke and he can feel her fingers at her core working furiously. “Come for me baby” he whispers and she does. He follows immediately afterwards emptying himself into her as she holds still for him, letting him take whatever he needs.

She feels giddy and boneless as she shuffles forward, and he slips out. He collapses onto his back breathing hard and she moves to lie on her side facing him. He pulls her to him hugging her tightly and she closes her eyes feeling lost in his embrace.

She’s not sure if she dozed off, or just totally spaced out in the afterglow of amazing sex and emotional revelation but when she comes too he’s running his fingers up and down her arm softly.  She turns her head up to look at him. “Hey” she whispers and he smiles wide and slow. “Hey” he replies bringing his nose to brush against hers.

“You know, we didn’t get to talk much about your drawings.” She says. “Could we uh… can we look again sometime? I’d love to talk more about each one individually ... If that’s not too excruciating for you?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.” He sighs. “it might be a bit excruciating. But there’s no one I want to share this with. And I’d like to tell you a bit more about what it was like… When I was away, I mean.”

“Great” she smiles and leans forward to kiss him. Sealing the deal once more. “We’ll make time then.”

“We’ll make all the time” he replies.

 


End file.
